A written household agreement can make expectations, reasons, and help-seeking steps visible. Involving a child can surface what they actually use and whether they understand a rule, but participation does not guarantee compliance and does not transfer safeguarding responsibility from the adults to the child.
This article walks through seven concrete areas to cover in one or more conversations, with your child actually present for the drafting, not just the announcement.
Why participation changes the outcome
Participation can help an adult learn how the child interprets a rule and give the child a safe way to raise concerns. It does not mean the child gets veto power over every clause, and it does not establish that a particular rule is developmentally appropriate. Adults remain responsible for product selection, account settings, supervision, and escalation.
Use as many short conversations as the child needs. The suggested one-sitting format is an activity option, not evidence that every age, disability, family, or language context should complete it that way.
The seven clauses
1. Accounts. Whose account is used for what, at what age, under what supervision level. Pull directly from AI literacy by age for the age-band starting point, and record the actual current minimum ages for the specific products your household uses — these change, so date-stamp this clause and revisit it at the review date below.
2. Private data. Define information that never goes into a consumer AI tool: other children’s identities, home or school location, credentials, intimate images, health details, and another person’s information without authority to share it. Separately document any school-approved exception, its purpose, account, minimum data and responsible adult. “The app is for school” is not itself approval.
3. Schoolwork. How AI use on homework gets decided and disclosed — point directly to AI homework help vs. cheating’s four-question decision tree as the household’s shared method, and state plainly that the specific teacher’s or school’s rule always overrides the household’s own preference.
4. Companions. Adults should make and explain a conservative rule for persona-based companion apps after checking age requirements and qualified child-safety guidance. This template’s default is not to permit them; it is a safeguarding choice, not proof that every product produces the same outcome. See do not give a child an AI friend for the separate review boundary.
5. Creation. What the child can generate with AI — images, stories, music, code — and what they cannot: no images of real people without consent, no content depicting classmates or family members in situations that didn’t happen, and no generating content intended to deceive someone (a fake screenshot, a manipulated quote, a synthetic voice clip). This clause is where a household first names deepfake-adjacent behavior in plain terms, before it becomes an actual incident; see the child deepfake response plan for what happens if the child is a target rather than a creator.
6. Purchases. Whether the child can approve any purchase, subscription, or in-app payment an AI tool suggests or facilitates, and the rule that no purchase happens without a specific adult approval, every time, no exceptions for “it seemed small.”
7. Help-seeking. Record what the child does if something goes wrong — a conversation gets frightening, a stranger’s request feels off, an image appears, or they made a mistake they are afraid to admit. State that disclosure leads first to support and safety, without promising outcomes an adult cannot control.
If a child discloses danger, exploitation, sexual content, threats or extortion, immediate safety and qualified help come before discipline. Review any rule breach separately and proportionately later, without blaming the child for harm done to them.
Drafting session structure
Use one or more age-appropriate sessions; there is no validated twenty-to-thirty-minute format. A possible order is to read each heading, ask what the child understands, explain adult responsibilities and fixed safety rules, and write the final language in accessible words. Adapt the process for disability, language and developmental needs with qualified support where needed.
A concrete example from clause 4
A parent can open clause 4 with: “some apps are built to feel like a friend who’s always there. What have you heard about apps like that?” The adult can then explain that a simulated companion is not a person, may be wrong or unsafe, may collect sensitive disclosures, and should never replace a trusted human. Avoid claiming a specific engagement design unless the product evidence supports it.
Sign it, post it, and set a review date
Record the agreement in a format the child can access and understand. A signature is optional; it is not consent to provider data practices or a legal contract. Choose a review date that fits how quickly products, school rules, and the child’s use are changing, and review sooner after a new tool or incident.
When to revise before the scheduled date
Three triggers that should prompt an earlier revision than the scheduled date: the child gets access to a new AI product not covered by the current agreement, a violation reveals the agreement’s wording was ambiguous rather than clearly broken, or a household circumstance changes significantly (a new device, a sibling reaching a new age band, a school policy change). Revising the agreement in response to real events, rather than only on a fixed schedule, keeps the document tracking reality instead of becoming a static artifact nobody actually consults.
Try it today
Read the seven clause headings and choose one calm time to discuss them with the child. Write down what the adults will do as well as what the child should do: configure accounts, check product terms, respond supportively to disclosure, and contact qualified help when needed.
The family AI agreement template gives you all seven clauses with fill-in space, a signature line for both parent and child, and a review-date field, ready to complete in the drafting session described above.
