Child-AI Relationship Observation Guide
Companion to your child and AI: watch the relationship, not just the clock.
None of the signals below is a diagnosis. Use this to decide whether a situation needs a conversation, a boundary, or a professional’s involvement — not to conclude on your own that a child has an addiction or disorder.
Five observation prompts — use a period appropriate to the concern
| Date/context | Activity (what it is used for) | Attachment or reliance | Displacement (sleep, people, school, interests) | Privacy or concealment (in context) | After-effects |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
What each signal is actually asking
- Activity: Ask directly what the tool is used for and whether it is producing frightening, sexual, manipulative or otherwise harmful content. A topic or product label alone is not a diagnosis.
- Attachment or reliance: Ask what the child expects from the tool, how they respond when it is wrong or unavailable, and whether it is replacing trusted people. A name or pronoun alone proves nothing.
- Displacement: Compare time and emotional energy with the AI tool against time with friends and other interests, sleep and responsibilities, while considering other explanations for any change.
- Privacy or concealment: Privacy can be developmentally appropriate. Record observable behavior and context without treating a closed screen, night use or denial as a diagnostic sign.
- After-effects: Ask how the child feels and what they do after use. There is no validated universal twenty-minute observation window or single “good” recovery pattern.
Reasons to seek human help
- The child expresses distress, hopelessness, or self-harm thoughts, in any context — respond immediately; see stop the chat and contact a person.
- A concerning change in mood, sleep, school participation or social connection needs assessment, whether or not AI use appears at the same time.
- The child is distressed by content, contact, threats, manipulation, or loss of access.
- Use appears to be displacing sleep, relationships, care or ordinary activities, or the pattern concerns the child or caregiver.
Immediate danger, self-harm, exploitation, sexual content, threats or extortion require the applicable emergency or safeguarding route. Other observations are context for a conversation with the child and, where warranted, a pediatrician, school safeguarding professional or qualified mental-health professional. No checkbox count determines a diagnosis or mandatory intervention by itself.
A conversation starter, not an accusation
“I’ve noticed you talk to [the tool] a lot in the evenings — what’s that usually about?”
Ask with genuine curiosity and listen before deciding what the observation means.
Privacy note
Set age-appropriate visibility expectations openly where safe and lawful. Covert monitoring can create privacy, legal and trust risks, but urgent safeguarding situations may require qualified direction. See the family AI agreement and obtain local professional guidance when safety and privacy duties conflict.