# Grief AI Safe-Use Table

Use with [Writing Through Grief Without Simulating the Person You Lost](/articles/grief-writing-without-simulation).

> If grief has brought on thoughts of suicide or self-harm, or you are worried about your immediate
> safety, contact your local emergency services now, or use [IASP's crisis resources](https://www.iasp.info/suicidalthoughts/).
> This worksheet is not a substitute for that step.

## The core rule

AI can help you produce something that is **yours** — your memories, your words, your logistics. It
must never be asked to produce something that claims to be **theirs**.

## The safe-use table

| Task | Safe | Why |
| --- | --- | --- |
| Organizing your own eulogy notes into a structure | Yes | The words and memories are yours; AI only organizes |
| Drafting an obituary from facts you supply | Yes | Factual, administrative, easily verified |
| Transcribing a voicemail or letter for an archive | Yes, with consent discipline | Use accuracy and permission norms, same as any family archive |
| Reflection journaling about your own grief | Yes | You are processing your own experience |
| Requesting a message "as if from" the person who died | No | Impersonation with no consent structure |
| Building an interactive chatbot from their messages or voice | No | No accountable consent from the deceased; unclear whether simulated contact helps or delays adjustment |
| Using AI to decide what to feel or how long grief "should" take | No | Not a clinical function AI can perform |

## Your task log

| What I need to write or organize | My own source material (memories, facts, notes) | What I will ask AI to do (organize / draft / phrase only) | Checked: does this ask AI to speak as them? |
| --- | --- | --- | --- |
|  |  |  |  |
|  |  |  |  |

## Before you send any prompt

- [ ] I supplied the facts, memories, or notes myself — I did not ask AI to invent sentiment or detail.
- [ ] I am not asking for a reply, message, or conversation "as if from" the person who died.
- [ ] I am not feeding their messages, voice, or likeness into a tool built to simulate them.
- [ ] If I feel drawn toward simulating them, I will bring that specific instinct to a person — a grief
      counselor, chaplain, or someone who knew them — instead of a chatbot.

## Retention and deletion

- [ ] I know where grief notes, transcripts, and drafts are stored (chat history, downloads, cloud drive).
- [ ] I have decided what to keep as an archive and what to delete when the immediate writing is done.
- [ ] I will not leave a grief-related chat thread open indefinitely as a substitute for talking to a person.

## What this cannot do

AI can organize administrative and writing tasks during grief. It cannot continue a relationship, speak
with their authority or consent, or process grief for you. If grief feels stuck, overwhelming, or unsafe,
bring it to a grief counselor or your own support network, not a chat window.